Before the baby



Stunning photo of me – by Dani Salmon Photography – more to follow soon hopefully

My pregnancy yoga classes are roughly split into three parts: the introductions, where we go around the circle of mats, say our names, how pregnant we are and a bit about how we’ve been feeling lately. Then the actual yoga bit, which is (just about) the longest section. Followed by a blissful guided relaxation close.

Having come from dynamic ashtanga yoga classes into pregnancy yoga, this was quite the pace change for me. No more sweaty mats and frowns if you stop for a sip of water.

Surprisingly, the intro section has proven to be one of the most helpful parts of the classes: a mini counselling session for everyone, where no one minds if you want to spend five minutes lamenting your pregnancy insomnia / SPD / how much you’re counting down to maternity leave. Everyone always listens and sympathises, with the added bonus of actually being interested, as they’re pregnant too. 

Anyway, today we discussed the strange transition stage between becoming a mother and being heavily pregnant with your first child. A strange no man’s land where you’re on the cusp of something that you know will be life changing: but you just don’t have a clue how it’s going to be. My mind seems to have opened up to these thoughts during the past week or so, after a couple of weeks of maternity leave feeling just like a standard two weeks off work.

Of course, there’s not much that I can do about this feeling of unsure in-between-ness. It’s just a case of waiting for this baby to turn up and dealing with the aftermath. But as my lovely yoga teacher reminded me this morning, that’s ok. I don’t need to feel incapable about not knowing how to feel. It will happen. The world will go on and I’ll cope.

And I’m sure that when it does, there will be aspects of pregnancy that I’ll miss. As an antidote to the seriousness of this post, I thought I’d document a few of the positive things that have come to mind when I think about not being pregnant any more. Things to look forward to after the baby, so I can’t forget that it wasn’t all sweetness and light these past few weeks:

  • being able to get out of bed without making ‘heave ho’ noises
  • going for more than an hour between needing to pee
  • shopping for some new gym wear and going for a run in the sunshine
  • getting back into spinning and body pump classes (eventually!)
  • starting mum and baby yoga
  • having a couple of glasses of wine/cocktails with a meal out
  • getting my non-pregnancy clothes out of storage and doubling my outfit options
  • my appetite getting back to normal, so I can enjoy a proper evening meal again, without wanting to just eat a packet of Refreshers instead.

All quite superficial things, but hopefully stuff I can embrace over the coming months to enjoy the new stage of my life.

Did you feel/are you feeling the same towards the end of your pregnancy? Have I missed anything off my ‘after the baby’ list? Any tips for avoiding the potential for baby/missing pregnancy blues – or is this just part and parcel of pregnancy ending and motherhood beginning?

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